The debate about gender incongruence in children and adolescents has grown stronger in recent years, and more and more parents are seeking advice and guidance. Many are in a demanding situation where they want to support their child in a safe and informed way, but experience great uncertainty about what they can do themselves, possible treatment options and their consequences.
At the same time, the number of young people referred to specialist health services for gender incongruence has increased sharply in the last decade, particularly among teenagers born female. This increase has occurred in parallel with increasing public awareness and discussion about gender identity, but research on the efficacy and long-term effects of medical treatment remains limited. Several private and public actors offer medical and experimental treatment, which means that the hidden numbers of children and adolescents in treatment are probably worryingly high.
Both Norwegian and international health authorities recognize that the documentation on the treatment's effectiveness and side effects is inadequate. In Sweden, health authorities concluded in 2022 that the risks of puberty blockers and hormones outweigh the potential benefits, and recommended that the treatment be given only in research settings.
To meet the need for knowledge-based guidance, GENID Norway offers information and support for parents and professionals. The organization emphasizes scientific and experience-based knowledge, while being independent of religious views.
Below is the advice that GENID offers parents and professionals:
- Check online influences– Try to gain insight into influences on the child/youth. On ung.no there is guidance on how to get testosterone and compression garments for breasts without parental consent.
- Children and young people are warned about parental skepticism. Children and young people are warned against parental skepticism. Children and young people are given distorted images of parents who are not supportive. They are well prepared by so-called trans coaches in what to do if the mother and father are not supportive. Thus, your position is greatly weakened if you show skepticism about the child's new identity. The child can easily believe that the parents' response is dangerous, and seek further help from the online community. Some openly offer that they are happy to be a “rainbow mom or dad” for children who have "unsupportive" parents.
- Don't close any doors- The most important thing you do is give unconditional love. Be patient, give the child time and space to explore. Don't close any doors. Say that you want to be there for the child or young person, no matter what happens in the future-also in disagreements. Give reassurance that you will stand by their side, no matter what. You need to convince your child that you want it best for them, and that you are not one of those evil parents that are portrayed online.
- Keep it everyday- Live as normally as possible, don't let the trans issue take up much space. After all, most of what we do in everyday life is gender-neutral. Solve problems such as toilets and locker rooms at school as discreetly as possible, by talking to the contact teacher about it. Don't plan for special treatment on a large scale. The child or young person is functioning normally even if they declare themselves as trans.
- Narrow down the conversations- Have a couple of serious conversations where you calmly explain what you mean, but limit yourself. Instead, talk occasionally about critical thinking in areas other than gender issues. Remind yourself of previous good experiences. Feel free to share your own experiences from your youth, and how your thoughts have developed.
- Young to 25- The brain is not fully developed until the young person is around 25 years old. The ability to consider one's own future and make one's own choices is one of the last things to develop. Therefore, be patient, objective and explain from a biological scientific perspective what you yourself think about gender. Genid Norway has collected some peer-reviewed studies and other resources which you can read up on.
- Groupthink- What your child/youth has become immersed in has many similarities to groups with high social control or cults. If they challenge or break with the groupthink, they may lose all the relationships they have built in these forums, both online and offline. This can be very frightening for them. Do what you can to strengthen/maintain your child/youth's other relationships, such as family, classmates and sports friends.
- Experiences of gender misidentification- Be careful about the child's/youth's identity in front of friends. Consider whether to use the child's new name/pronoun in the situation. It can be experienced as ridicule to be "misgendered" by one's own parents. But this must be up to each individual family to consider. For some, using the real name/pronoun at home, while using the new one outside and at school, works well.
- What about the suicide threats? These are based on a few very limited studies, where it was not found that suicide risk decreases after “gender correction”. These studies are not valid for this generation. However, it is important to listen and be aware of the signals that the child/youth gives about their psychosocial health. A safe family situation and good friends are often the most important thing. If the problems are serious, professional help must be sought. But be aware that professionals should not confirm the new identity until everything else has been investigated.
More advice from the Bayswater Support Group, Europe's largest support group for parents of children with a trans identity, can be found here
