We all long to be seen, appreciated and loved for who we are. Yet many people find that they give and give in relationships – without getting much in return. Perhaps you recognize the feeling of constantly being available, reaching out, and yet not being met with the same commitment. It takes a toll on your self-esteem when you constantly try to win someone's attention and affirmation, but are left with the feeling of not being enough.

Being taken for granted can be painful – especially when it happens in close relationships. It can lead to insecurity, self-denial and, in the worst case, losing yourself in the attempt to be liked. But there is a way forward. Sometimes, it can be just a little distance that restores closeness – and reminds both you and the other of what you are actually worth.

When distance creates closeness

An important principle in relationships is this: Distance can create closeness. It may sound contradictory, but when you are not always available, you give the other person space to miss you and feel the value of your presence. It is not about playing games or withdrawing to manipulate, but about having a healthy balance in the relationship.

For someone who is constantly giving and showing up, it can be liberating to stop and ask: "Is this closeness mutual?" When you dare to set boundaries and give yourself a little more space, it can help both you and the other person see things in a new light.

For girls and boys – finding the balance

For girls: You are valuable – and you don’t need to chase after anyone’s attention to prove it. If you find yourself constantly reaching out beyond your comfort zone, without getting anything in return, it’s worth asking yourself some honest questions. What happens if you take a step back? Whoever is really looking at you will notice – and perhaps come closer in a more genuine way.

For boys: If you like a girl, it's important to show that you care. But it's also important to give her space to feel and miss you. Too much attention too soon can be overwhelming, while too little initiative can be perceived as indifference. Find the balance between a confident presence and respecting her boundaries - it builds trust.

Self-confidence and self-respect are key

Good relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation – not one person giving everything and the other taking it for granted. When you are confident in your own worth, it becomes easier to set boundaries and create healthy, reciprocal connections.

Real attraction grows when you are confident in who you are. When you know your worth, you attract people who see you and respect you—not because you are trying to be liked, but because you are already valuable.

In the face of love, infatuation and close friendship, it is easy to lose yourself a little. But that is precisely why it is important to stop, feel and dare to set boundaries. If you experience being taken for granted, it may be time to withdraw a little and give both yourself and the other person space. Because it is often in that space that closeness grows again – and something important is allowed to mature.